The following text is an excerpt from Dr. Ginott’s book ”Between Parent & Child.” Eric, age nine, came home from school full of anger. His class was scheduled to go for a picnic, but it started to rain. The mother decided to use a new approach. She refrained from cliches that in the past has only made things worse: - “There is no use crying over rained-out picnics” - “There will be other days for fun” - “ I didn’t make it rain, you know, so why are you angry at me?” Instead, to herself she said, “ My son has strong feelings about missing the picnic. He is disappointed. He is sharing his disappointment with me by showing his anger. I can best help him by showing understanding and respect for his feelings. To Eric she said: M: You seem very disappointed. E: Yes M: You wanted very much to go to this picnic. E: I sure did. M: You had everything ready and then the darn rain came. E: Yes, that’s exactly right. There was a moment of silence and then Eric said, “ Oh, well there will be other days.” His anger seemed to have vanished and he was quite cooperative the rest of the day. Such responses create intimacy between parent and child. His love for his mother is deepened because he felt understood.
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